Ho, ho, ho and merry tunesday everybody! It’s that time of year again: when the presents under the tree are stacking higher and higher by the day, your advent calendar is almost empty and if you eat another candy cane or gingerbread man, you’ll explode (but that won’t stop us). Let’s celebrate with some festive songs from across the genre spectrum, all to get you in the mood for a Christmas of chock-full of love, laughter and some great festive tunes.

CHRISTMAS DIRTBAG – WHEATUS To kick things off is a fairly brand-new Chrissy song that was released just this year. We all know “Teenage Dirtbag”, but In this version, we hear how frontman Rivers Cuomo thinks Santa has forgotten all about him up until right at the end when he’s gifted two tickets to not Iron Maiden, but AC/DC this time, fresh from the chimney. It’s no secret the band loves all things Christmassy since they already have not one, not two but three festive-themed EPs. For me though, this reimagined 2000s super hit takes the (fruit) cake. Maybe it’s the nostalgia, the humour or both. Either way, it’s a foot-tapping and nostalgic festive jam.

HEY SIS, IT’S CHRISTMAS – RUPAUL In what could be the funkiest Xmas tune of all time, everyone’s favourite queen of drag delivers a campy rap-inspired performance. Ru starts off bold and confident with, “Hey sis, it’s Christmas / you can cross me off of your wish list”, a self-love mantra just as fitting for the holidays as the jingle bells that accompany it. There’s also an equally fabulous version featuring the cast of the third season of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK. How could you not have the best Christmas that ever existed” while listening? An absolute sleigh. 

MY CHRISTMAS LIST – SIMPLE PLAN For anyone after some stocking filler inspiration take notes: I’d love the things vocalist Pierre Bouvier lists, namely a “first-class trip to Hawaii”, a “big screen TV”, “a lifetime supply of skittles” and, of course, “a life”. And I second his wish to make Christmas Day last forever. Could you imagine? So many presents! My sister is a massive Simple Plan fan, so it has become a tradition in our household for us to belt this out together every holiday over ice blocks and cold Christmas ham. It’s also common practice for us to circle everything we want in shop catalogues and write outlandish letters to the big man in red. What’s number one on your wish list this year?

JUST LIKE CHRISTMAS – LOW As soon as this track begins, your ears are blessed with jingling bells. Midway through, they are joined by an acoustic guitar and some pattering drums, perfect for a sleepy passenger’s drive home or away on December 25th. American indie rock band Low aptly captures both the youth of travel and how festive charm can be found in even the simplest of moments. I can’t relate to the whimsy of snow (I’ve never seen it) but from what I hear, it’s naturally magical. Like a lot of other Aussies, I associate Christmas with swimming pools, BBQs, thong tans, freshly cut watermelon, summer storms and pesky flies. Now that’s a down-under assortment that is “just like Christmas”.

DON’T SHOOT ME SANTA – THE KILLERS This is, hands-down, my absolute favourite Christmas song. The first time I ever heard it I was blown away by the instrumentals, Brandon Flowers’s sweet voice and just the bizarreness of it all. I’d kill to know how on earth The Killers came up with such a concept. To add to its randomness, the music video for the song was directed by actor Matthew Gray Gubler, who you might know as Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds. The idea of Santa Claus ruthlessly punishing naughty people is ridiculous, but just to be safe, you’d better keep behaving.

CHRISTMAS AT THE ZOO – THE FLAMING LIPS Freeing all the animals in the zoo might seem like a good thing to do on Christmas Eve, but I beg you, please refrain. I don’t want any orangutans, peacocks or elephants crashing my Chrissie lunch or stampeding over my tree. But, if you really can’t resist, psychedelic rockers The Flaming Lips provide a step-by-step guide in their characteristic heavy and happy style on how to go about releasing the fauna. And, like several other tunes on this list, “Christmas at the Zoo” makes generous use of those good old jingle bells. Nothing says festive music like a dozen chiming bells.

FATHER CHRISTMAS – THE KINKS Here’s a classic rock tune, bursting with early punk-type drums and light guitar rhythms, to party to atop all the discarded wrapping paper, to/from tags, and tape. Released in 1977, “Father Christmas” has become a go-to Xmas song for many generations of jolly rebels. It tells the not-so-merry tale of a department store Santa who gets beat up by a gang of kids demanding cash over toys. Humour aside, singer Ray Davies includes the very true lines, ‘Have yourself a merry, merry Christmas / have yourself a good time / but remember the kids who got nothing / while you’re drinking down your wine’. Christmas is not only a time for expensive presents and guilt-free materialism but also a time to be thankful for what you’ve got.

O HOLY NIGHT – SUFJAN STEVENS With all the glitz, glam and gifting of the season, it’s easy to forget the derivation of Christmas as we know it. This is a perfect enduring song to remind us of where it all began, so happy birthday, Jesus! Indie darling and folk singer-songwriter Sufjan Stevens does this classic carol justice, gracefully complimenting the symbolic lyricism with his banjo strums. This is the ideal song to play during your candle-lit Christmas feast, and again afterwards when friends and family prance around the lounge playing with their new toys. It’s giving a cool and cosy Christmas spent by the pedestal fan.

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU – MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE Sure, he’s great at belting out emo anthems, but front man Gerard Way also has an immaculate carolling voice, as we hear at the beginning of his take on this classic. Soon enough though, he descends into his trademark flamboyant alternative sound, to give us a lively taste of seasonal yearning. Originally by Mariah Carey, MCR covered this back in 2009 for the Warner Bros Records Xmas compilation album Gift Wrapped – 20 Songs That Keep On Giving. It adds merit to the romantic dream of matching pyjamas, thoughtful prezzies, and smooching under the mistletoe.

CHRISTMAS WRAPPING – THE WAITRESSES “Bah humbug,” says new-wave post-punker Patty Donahue. Yeah, I get it. The year has flown by, and by the time we reach December some of us don’t have the energy for decking halls or trimming trees. But Christmas brings revitalising feelings of togetherness, care-free awe and absolute bliss. How can you resist being excited “now the calendar’s just one page”? This song follows two lonely hearts who have collided and parted multiple times throughout the year, but end up getting together, (while shopping for cranberries of all things) during the festive season. I hope you get some of that same magic on the 25th day of this month!