why hugs are the absolute best

I’m into hugs. Obsessed, some might say. Once, I found myself squeezing the bejeezus out of a Belgian waffle vendor on the Circular Quay promenade – all because the dude had a “free hugs” sign stuck on his food truck. Ah, the innocence of pre-pandemic times…

Renowned family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” But hugs are now an endangered species. ‘Touch starvation’ has become a post-pandemic Thing, research shows, causing us to experience higher levels of stress, anxiety and loneliness than ever before. One solution? More hugs. Clever clogs (read: scientists) recommend leaning into a warm embrace to become happier and healthier, and to generally feel safer and more loved. Hugs also stimulate the release of the ‘cuddle chemical’ oxytocin – and frankly, any non-illegal activity that pumps some happy drugs into my system gets my hug of approval.

Ready to reclaim the hug? Start by identifying some common types of huggers.

THE BEAR Bears specialise in the kind of full-body envelopment typically supplied by a warm bath filled with bubbles. It’s wholehearted, comforting and feels like home. Level things up and you get Turbo Bears: lifting you up for a spine-cracking jiggle and sorting six months’ worth of chiropractor appointments in one go. If a Turbo Bear happens to have big boobs, too, it’s just pure bliss.

THE OCTOPUS Not to be mistaken for Bear hugs, these hugs seem to involve way more than eight limbs and two of those always seem to end up on your butt. There’s something a little bit sticky about an Octopus hug, probably because frantically waving your strawberry margarita as a barrier between you and the oncoming cephalopod doesn’t seem to prevent a full-frontal assault. If you spot an Octopus oiling its way to you, avoid.

THE SIDEWINDER The notorious one-armed non-hug I love to loathe. Sure, they can be platonically friendly and supportive, but side hugs are wishy-washy: either get in there, or high five me instead. Upside? Sidewinders can turn into Bears if you practise patience. For example, allow your long-suffering partner to unload their armful of post-work debris (laptop, takeaway pizza, bunch of flowers) before hurling your touch-starved carcass at them the second they walk through the door.

THE BUTTERFLY Imitating air kisses, these hugs barely touch the sides – your sides, that is. Butterflies are SO happy to see you, fluttering their arms around your shoulders and overwhelming your senses with thrilled squeals and wafting scent and rainbow gauze… Only when they drift away do you realise they’ve somehow avoided touching any part of your actual body. An empty sugar rush.

THE CAT Much like their furry counterparts, Cats provide lessons in consent. No matter how much you’d like to cuddle them, it’s best to avoid their claws and let them choose the time, the place, and the person on whom they’d like to bestow their largesse. In the meantime, look out for the occasional slow blink of approval and languid toe touching your thigh while the two of you are chilling on opposite sides of the couch: it’s just as meaningful.

THE ECHIDNA Look, some people don’t like hugs. I may not understand you, but I respect your choice. Echidnas roll into metaphorical balls when they see an embrace heading their way – it’s best to approach them with a friendly nod, and maybe a cupcake or two to show that you rather enjoy their company. (Another type of Echidna is me wearing very spiky dangly earrings and injuring an unsuspecting Bear while getting squished against their chest. What’s a little impalement between friends?)

SPECIAL MENTION: THE TREE HUGGER Hear me out: trees are super-huggable, and perfect if humans freak you out but you really crave a hug. The benefits of the Japanese practice of ‘forest bathing’ (shinrin-yoku) have been widely documented: spending time around trees can reduce stress, improve immunity, and even accelerate recovery from illness or trauma. The kicker? Hugging a tree releases oxytocin. (If the tree hugs back, please do let me know!)

This article comes straight from the pages of issue 118. To get your mitts on a copy, swing past the frankie shop, subscribe or visit one of our lovely stockists.