things to know before living alone

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If you’re anything like me, there will be a moment of clarity when the concept of living alone shifts from being a dreaded fear to a lifestyle that you… actually want? Growing older is truly wild. If you’re considering leaving an expensive sharehouse room for an expensive place of your own, take my advice and you’ll be living large, in a spiritual sense. (I cannot speak directly to home owners because they are so foreign to me that it would be like speaking to an alien, and I am frightened by outer space.)

IT'S ACTUALLY FINE TO TALK TO YOURSELF The more I say this out loud, the truer it becomes. It’s fine. IT’S ACTUALLY FINE! No, really – it is. You are not going completely bonkers if you begin talking to yourself. Rather, it’s a sign of a healthy mental state (I’ve decided). Most of us working from home in recent years had to develop coping strategies to avoid intermittent screaming, and mine is talking to myself. If you’re preparing a snack, why not adopt a Cockney accent and pretend you’re hosting a cooking show? Every shower is an opportunity to see if you can hit the high note in Kesha’s "Praying". It’s actually fine.

KNOWING YOUR NEIGHBOURS IS REALLY NICE Remember when ‘avoiding people’ was a whole personality? Personally, I feel better challenging the urge to hide from people. Not to brag, but I know the name of four separate people in my small block of flats, and it’s surprised me how much I’ve enjoyed saying hello to them, given my entire youth was spent avoiding awkward social exchanges. When you live alone, it’s nice to know who is nearby, even if it doesn’t result in wholesome Ramsay Street-esque shenanigans. Be the Harold Bishop you wish to see in the world.

BUNNINGS TRIPS ARE INCREDIBLY SATISFYING If there was a spectrum of ‘handiness’, my skillset would be at the extreme end, often known as ‘terminally useless’. I can barely hammer a nail without causing injury to the wall and/or my person. But, living alone means nobody else is there to help with the most minor of repairs. The experience of doing something physical when you are deeply uncoordinated and have the posture of someone who is permanently online (‘terminally useless’) is SO satisfying. A sandpaper and paint touch-up here, a flyscreen-affixing there, suddenly I’m in workboots and ready to host The Block.

PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU TO GET A CAT You must prepare for this. I’m unsure if this is gendered, but the amount of people who want me to become a Cat Lady is overwhelming. This may be due to assumptions of loneliness, which is kind. But the truth is I am not lonely at home. All my stuff is here! Books and devices and bed and neglected fiddle leaf figs! If you can swing it, it’s so lovely creating a sanctuary for yourself to escape from the world, and to have total control over which rug to put in the lounge room, what art rests on the walls and where the plants live (and die). Want a pet? Go for it. But it’s completely OK if you don’t want one: just be prepared for the constant suggestions.

HAVE A FIRST AID KIT The last few years have made us more aware of being prepared and having basic medical supplies on hand, and living alone reinforces that. You don’t have someone who can instantly get you painkillers or a hot water bottle or expired prescription medication from their 2016 Thailand holiday. So my advice would be to have essentials stocked up in case you become sick, because it can feel a little bit sad lying on a couch sniffling and feeling too ill to buy tissues. But the good news? You can always talk to yourself.

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