a handy scarf

There are many uses for this Healing Hands scarf from Reykjavik Corner Store. You could peel down all the fingers but the middle one and make rude gestures at people. You could use it as a prop in an a capella rendition of Bon Jovi's "Lay Your Hands On Me". You could flap it around and pretend you're an overly excitable Muppet. Or failing all that, you could just use it to snuggle up and keep warm. If you really must.